Killing Her Practical Side

Just a dumb little short story that reflects the thoughts of most writers… 😉


Click, click, click… The barbarian king mercilessly threw his hordes against the walls, and there seemed to be no end of the berserk fighters from the North…

Something shifted under her. She tried to ignore it, but there was a knobby bit poking in the middle of her back, pulling her attention away from the bright computer screen. She looked up, and her eyes lighted on the dust piling up on the side table.

Something poked her backside.

She jabbed an elbow into the mound of cushions behind her. “Stop it! Stay still!”

More wiggling.

With an exasperated sigh, she got up and yanked one of the couch cushions up. Her Practical Side wiggled, looking a little flatter than when she’d stuffed her down there a couple of days ago, but still very much alive.

She put a hand on her hip. “You’re not dead yet?”

The Practical Side glared up at her. “You need to stop writing and do some cleaning around here!”

“It’s a little dust, not that bad…”

“Have you looked at the kitchen sink lately? Or how about the dirty laundry in the bedroom? Haven’t you run out of clean clothes yet? When was the last time you slept or showered? Do not tell me you’ve been wearing those socks for the last three–”

She slammed the cushions back down on the Practical Side and sat down. The Practical Side wiggled, but with a practiced movement, she kneed it in the back as she sat down and resumed typing.

She’d clean later today. Maybe. After the barbarian king had been defeated. And her Practical Side had been successfully smothered, once and for all.

Published by H. A. Titus

H. A. Titus is usually found with her nose in a book or spinning story-worlds in her head. Her love affair with fantasy began at age twelve, when her dad handed her The Lord of the Rings after listening to it on tape during a family vacation. Her stories have been published in Digital Dragon Magazine, Residential Aliens Magazine, and four anthologies: Alternative Witness; Avenir Eclectia Volume 1; The Tanist's Wife and Other Stories; and Different Dragons Volume II. In December 2013, her short story "Dragon Dance" won Honorable Mention in a Writers of the Future contest. She lives on the shores of Lake Superior with her meteorologist husband and young son, who do their best to ensure she occasionally emerges into the real world. When she's not writing, she can be found rock-climbing, skiing, or hanging out at her online home,

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